Taste and see that the Lord is Good.
There are many people who are struggling with heartache, from traumatic experiences, broken relationships – be it with a married or unmarried partners, or with parents, siblings, blood relatives or friends, work colleagues, even other church members, leaders. We all need to have someone, to relate with… and relating with another, places us in a position of vulnerability.
But what happens when a relationship falls apart?
What happens when through no fault of our own we are abused, physically, emotionally, and even spiritually?
What often happens is that we place a mask of toughness on, to show all, that nothing can hurt you. But inside, behind that mask, we hurt, and cry and find a way to deal with it without anyone else knowing. My mask was that of a clown – i laughed everything away, and even made fun of myself so no-one else would… it was my way of self protection. I got people to laugh with me instead of at me. I made fun of all my failures before others could, to protect my self as best i could, and never let anyone see the deep hurts hidden within. I also wore a religious mask, that lied, when asked if i was OK. A only few people knew the real me, but i kept them at a distance too. If i should allow the tough exterior to crack it would leave me vulnerable and afraid
A friend recently said that he’d had a dream. ‘In the basement were many boxes packed and stacked and covered over neatly with a tarpaulin. He was shown that these boxes were containing many grievances over the many years, that he has placed neatly in a box and hid away in order to get on with life.’
The problem with grievances, if not dealt with, they produce bitterness. Bitterness is a fruit of unforgiveness. Bitterness among other things can also be the cause of cancer. I was reading a journal by a Christian doctor, who had studied over many years and of approximately 80% patients coming to see him, that for example , breast cancer:
- The left breast can possibly be traced back to a root of unforgiveness and bitterness, from unresolved issues with a female blood relative, e.g. mother, grandmother, aunt, sister, etc.
- The right breast the same root but with women not related by blood, so can include, work colleagues friends church members etc including the husband. He goes on to talk of other cancers… but i was invited by a friend to meet an acquaintance who was struggling with cancer.
She has it now for a fifth time. Curious from reading the above and others, i went to visit her. I told her that for sure there is a curse upon her, and if we can identify the cause, we can uproot and cancel the curse. She had 1st Left Breast, 2nd Right Breast, 3rd Left breast again and had to have it removed, 4th right breast again and had to have it removed. 5th current time, ovarian cancer. I asked her just casually about her mother – and what came flooding out was pure bitterness and unforgiveness. I continued to ask about works colleagues, etc. and out flowed another story of hurt and bitterness. I asked then with regards to the Ovarian Cancer, (which is linked to self-hatred self loathing, self bitterness, linked together with her sexuality.) if she hated herself. She said – oh no! I asked if she had wished herself dead. Oh yes – many times. That comes out of self hatred.
Before i had come across this report I had my own experiences of unforgiveness, and wrote a chapter about it in the book ‘Catching Foxes’, together with what the Lord had revealed to me about it.
forgiveness-individual-chapter I would like to make it available to you to read for yourself, through this pdf free download of the chapter. Just click on the link.
It was through the Lord taking me these steps of forgiveness, that opened doors within my heart to rooms i didn’t know existed, with other iniquities hidden deep. They were holding me back from the fullness of what the Lord had fulfilled for me on the cross. The Lord began to bring a healing within me, as i chose His word over my will. Please – read the chapter, it is one of twenty one in the book of the things the Lord has been setting this captive free from, but the key to them all was Forgiveness.
I urge you to buy the whole book, (available online) to read of the most amazing love, that sets His captives like me and you free, and how to remain free and then help others to overcome, but meanwhile feel free to download this chapter.
with love from
Fenella Stevensen 